THE RURAL AUSTRALIAN THESAURUS OF COMPUTER TERMS

The Rural Australian Thesaurus
Of Computer Terms

Log On	Make the barbie hotter
Log Off	Don't add any more wood
Monitor	Keeping an eye on the barbie
Download	Get the firewood off the ute
Hard drive	Trip back home without any cold tinnies
Floppy Disc	What you get lifting too much firewood at once
Keyboard	Where you hang the ute and bike keys
Window	What you shut when it's cold
Screen	What you shut in the mozzie season
Byte	What mozzies do
Bit	What mozzies did
Mega Byte	What Townsville mozzies do
Chip	A bar snack
Micro Chip	What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
Modem	What you did to the lawns
Dot Matrix	Old Dan Matrix's wife
Laptop	Where the cat sleeps
Software	Plastic knives and forks you get at Big Rooster
Hardware	Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart
Mouse	What eats the grain in the shed
Mainframe	Whatholds the shed up
Web	What spiders make
Web Site	The shed or under the verandah
Cursor	The old bloke down the pub who swears a lot
Search Engine	What you do when the ute won't go
Yahoo	What you say when the ute does go
Upgrade	A steep hill
Server	The person at the pub that brings out the counter lunch
Mail Server	The bloke at the pub that brings out the counter lunch
Internet	Complicated fish net repair method
Netscape	When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net
Online	When you get the laundry hung out
Off Line	When the pegs don't hold the washing up