Beer makes you feel better when you have your period.
Beer stains don't smell funny the next day.
Beer goes where you want it to.
Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you try on shoes at the mall.
Your beer never suffers performance anxiety.
When your beer won't get a head up, you can toss it out.
Beer doesn't stand there tapping it's wristwatch.
No woman ever got stood up by a beer.
A beer doesn't start a fistfight with an ale.
Puking will rid you of that queasy feeling you get when you made the wrong choice.
Beer doesn't get drunk and call you at 3am to beg.
You don't need a restraining order with bad beer.
I never met a beer with a criminal record.
Beer labels come off when you want them to.
When you go to a bar, you can pick up a beer without worrying about that tan line on his ring finger.
You can pick up a beer in a bar right in front of your mom and she won't mind.
Beer never has a bad temper.
A beer won't throw you into the back seat of a 76' Datsun and dry hump you under a mercury vapor lamp.
A beer won't toss you in the passenger seat of a Mazda RX7 and show you it can go 100MPH on a flat stretch.
A beer doesn't bring strange people home with it.
Its easy to give beer good head with minimal shaking up.
You don't have to worry about a gag reflex with beer.
You can have more than one beer in a night without feeling sore.
You can talk to your girlfriends about your beer without it getting pissed off.
You have a good idea where that beer has been before you got it.
No one ever had to sleep in a beer spot.
Beer doesn't dis' you because you are a babe.
A beer won't shove its hand up your dress at your graduation party.
You don't have to fake it for a beer.
Beer has no ego.
A cold beer is a good beer.
Beer tastes good.
Beer doesn't leave you. It snuggles around your hips for a lifetime.
A beer doesn't hate your cat.
You can get six at once without taxing yourself.
A beer doesn't mind if you don't finish.
A beer won't leave the lid up.